You know, I was kind of wondering why I haven’t had a haircut in a few months; I think my aunt was setting me up. But there is absolutely no way I’m going to dress up as a girl for a computer.
A Christmas Gift — Dec 23th, 24th
Friday, December 20th: Hello diary! Today was the last day of class before Christmas break. I can’t believe how excited I am to be free from school. I mean, school use to be fun, back when I was in the 2nd grade. But I’m a 5thgrader now, and it’s just not cool to be into all that junk that teachers keep trying to cram into your head.
Anyways, after school, I went over to Aunt Jan’s house. I come here because my mom has to work doubles at the factory. When I got here, Aunt Jan had an early Christmas gift for me. I unwrapped the package like a lion rips through the chest of a zebra. Now I never turn down gifts, don’t get me wrong. That’s a metaphor; my aunt’s an English teacher, so I learn that kind of junk all the time.
Well, anyway, I opened it up, and this is what I got, a diary. Aunt Jan said it was a journal, but it’s a pink book with a little lock that I opened without even using the key. But, either way, it was the first gift. If they all turn out like this, I’m going to be pissed off. I thought it was maybe a video game or something. But it’s a book with empty pages. But I promised I would use it. Aunt Jan seemed pretty intent on keeping up with it, at least through the holidays. So I will because she will check.
I asked her what I should write, since I will be looking at this in the future with fond memories, ya right. Well, she said I should write a summary of the last year, just so when I look back like it is going to happen, I know what was going on in the background.
Okay, this past year really sucked, let me tell you that. Okay, first, my mom gets pregnant, which actually wasn’t the sucky part. I wanted a little brother to play with; I could have taught him some really cool things. Well, mom got real big, and she found out the baby was going to be a girl. Okay, it was a downer; I mean, what can I do with a sister. Well, after a week, I thought even a sister would be cool, my friend has a sister, and she is like one of the guys, so I figured maybe they didn’t get prissy until like junior high, and by that time, I’d be a rock star, and it wouldn’t matter.
Well, long story short, mom had a miscarriage, which means the baby died inside her. We were all sad, but mom had a breakdown. Dad couldn’t handle it; he split, he ran off with his secretary. Sometimes we get a check from him, but not real often. Well, anyways, mom did get better; I mean, she isn’t jumping for joy, but she at least isn’t locked up in her room, and we talk and stuff now. The school has been boring, and mom had to take a job where she works like 70 hours a week in order to pay for the house.
This year, I didn’t even get new school clothes; we went to the goodwill store. Wearing goodwill stuff is worst than wearing old stuff. Anyway, while my mom works, I stay with my aunt, sometimes I sleepover. Aunt Jan helps me with my homework, and she has a big tv, so it’s cool when football is on, or I play madden on my ps2. Okay, my 15 minutes are up, so I’m done.
Saturday, December 21st. I got to write in this stupid book today. Mom didn’t get home until really late last night, so I didn’t even see her. I go home in another hour, but she has to work on Sunday, so I get to watch football here, even if my team doesn’t play until Monday night. Anyway, today we went to Walmart. Can you believe that everyone was at Walmart today? I don’t even know what we were doing there. We didn’t buy anything.
Anyway, it was weird; I figured that maybe my aunt was trying to figure out what to buy me for Christmas. We went to the electronics section; I hinted that I wanted a computer. I think I deserve one. I mean, I can do homework on it, write stories, and do art. As if! I want all, this way I can chat and maybe get dirty pictures. My friend Randy has a ton; people just send them to him; he doesn’t even lie about his age, and people still give it to him. Well, I made pretty good hints, I think. Aunt Jan said that we would talk about it.
Whenever we talk about it, I wind up doing chores, though. When I wanted a bike this summer because someone stole my old one, I had to clean her garage, which took me like three days, mowed the lawn, and wash her car. Well, I guess I’d have to paint her house for a computer or something.
Okay, so after the electronics, we went into the clothing section. Nothing was weird; she asked me about my waist and my inseam. The inseam really sucks when others check; they put their hand right up in your crotch. They didn’t do that at Walmart because it’s not a fancy store, but I just wrote that because I hate it, I really do. Aunt Jan said that girls don’t have to go through that trouble. I really wanted to mention the trouble they did have, but I didn’t want to start a fight.
Okay, then she asked me what my chest size is, well she said bust, but it’s all the same thing. I said large because my shirts say L that’s all I know. Well, she wanted a number. Well, she checks right in the store; you know how embarrassing it is to be treated like a little kid. Well, okay, still nothing weird. But then she doesn’t even pick up anything. I guess she doesn’t want me to see.
Well, then we go into the girl’s section. I hate that section; it’s full of little packages of girls’ underwear and stuff. Every time I am there, I think of what people will think I’m some kind of perv. Well, my aunt asks the lady there to help her with sizes. The numbers she gave to find out the girl’s size sounded awfully familiar. I guess one of her friends has a girl my size; I mean, three girls in class are my size, except you know, up top they got itty bitty. Well, half of them do; the other half have to catch up and quick.
Well, okay, we went home. We didn’t buy anything, we just looked. Even for the friend’s kid, my aunt was asking about. Aunt Jan told me I should write now, and this way I could leave this diary, journal thing here. She said I could lock it, but I will just hide it. She never finds my hidden stuff. I have had a playboy in the mattress for a year now. Well, my time is up, thank God, bye book.
Sunday, December 22nd: Hello diary. Again! Mom had to work today; I pretty much watched football all day on the big screen tv. It’s a plasma t.v. which means it’s a hundred times better than anything my friends have. My aunt won it on a trip to a casino. Most people win money, my aunt wins a t.v. At least it’s a cool one.
I really didn’t care about the football games. I mean, I am not really like a football fan. I just like my team, or if I play rough tackle with my friends, then it’s cool. But it’s Sunday, and there isn’t really a lot to do. I was pretty much bored, but it is still a pretty cool television. I can’t wait till all televisions are plasma.
Well, I pretty much lounged around in my PJs. I didn’t even get dressed. For some reason, that sounds bad.
Okay, enough of the not-important stuff. I found out what I had to do to get the computer for Christmas. Okay, get this, my aunt wants me to dress up like a girl for my mother for a week. Like no way. A computer is not that important.
Here is what my aunt said, so if I have to remember it, I will. She said that mom really wanted to have a girl, and she got her hopes built upon having a girl. When I was born, she was hoping I would be a girl. I was like, that’s not my problem. Actually, I just nodded like a wuss, but I thought it wasn’t my problem. I mean, I have a reputation to uphold.
You know, I was kind of wondering why I haven’t had a haircut in a few months; I think my aunt was setting me up. But there is absolutely no way I’m going to dress up as a girl for a computer. No way, not even for 100 computers.
I can’t believe she asked such a thing. She wasn’t even joking either. That’s what I thought, really. She said she would like me to be a girl through the Christmas holidays, and I started to laugh; my soda almost went through my nose. She can check my inseam all she wants, but I’m not dressing like a girl. I mean, I love my mom, but I don’t think she would really expect me to do something like that for her. What a dumb thing to ask a boy to do. It is like asking a dog to give birth to kittens; it’s just not ever going to happen.
I can just picture all the teasing I would get. I mean, even though my aunt said that I would be staying home the whole time and that it would be just family, I just knew that someone would find out. And when I asked if she promised I would only be in the house, she didn’t say yes. She tiptoed around the issue.
This Christmas is going to suck; I mean, no dad, Mom is working all the time. The only thing that I wanted was a stupid computer, and My aunt asked me to do something so stupid that it made my head hurt. I can’t be a girl; I know enough about boys and girls to know that making me a girl would probably hurt a lot.
I know she meant that she wanted me to dress as a girl. But, here is what I think, even if I dress like a girl, that doesn’t mean my mom somehow gets the daughter she always wanted. Right. If I dress as a girl, then that means that she really has some messed-up son. Aren’t I right. As usual, I am.
Oh, in my aunt’s defense, writing in this stupid diary- journal thingy isn’t all that bad; it helps me say things I really want to say without telling them. Weird. I guess she isn’t always wrong.
For Story — https://www.patreon.com/posts/60211889
