“Each week, you will exchange another article of clothing until you are completely dressed as a woman. The male clothing will be stored in a locker until you earn it back. Is that agreeable to you? “If he does not pay the $100 this week, you will forfeit two items of your male wardrobe.”
My name WAS Charlie Brown. Yes, Charlie Brown, is like the comic strip character. I guess my parents had a warped sense of humor. Believe me, I got teased about it a lot during my grade school days. Good thing my childhood friends don’t know me now or they’d do a lot more than tease me. I’m getting ahead of myself, though. Let me backtrack a bit. I am in my middle forties with brown hair and brown eyes. I stand five foot nine and I weighed 160 pounds. My present weight is 135 pounds.
My story begins about a year ago. I retired from the military after serving twenty-two years. I was living on my pension and the small business I started after retiring. The business is a two-person operation, me and an assistant who enters data into the computer. We process payroll checks for about forty small businesses with anywhere from five to
twenty-five employees.
I furnish all state unemployment reports and W-2 forms at the end of the year. My gross is approximately $1500 per week, a profitable small business. As a sideline, I own several small warehouse buildings which I rent on a yearly basis. The payroll business operates from a small office condo, a single story in a modest business park. Very seldom do I have clients come to the office? Clients call or fax in their payroll information using the forms Amy, my wife, and I developed. My secretary delivers some of the payrolls or we use a courier service. Most of the time, I am free to play golf or work around the house.
With the income from this business and my military pension, my wife doesn’t have to work but prefers to practice her vocation. We do not have children.
Amy, my wife of twenty years, is a registered nurse working to become a doctor of Internal Medicine. She occasionally helps me with my business, particularly toward the end of the year. Our marriage had been pleasant up to that point, neither terrible nor spectacular. We got along, even if our sex life was, well, tepid. Amy had never complained about the lack of passion I exhibited, but from time to time, I had the feeling that she would like things to be more interesting. I guess it just wasn’t her nature to express feelings like that.
Many women think that talking about their fantasies is overly aggressive. I probably should have just asked Amy if she wanted anything more from me. I guess being so involved with my business kept me from thinking along those lines.
One of my rental tenants runs an automobile repair shop. I loaned his lead mechanic, Rodney, three thousand dollars to help him purchase a car. I was assured by the shop’s owner that I would be repaid each week as he would withhold $100.00 per week from his check. When the loan had an outstanding balance of one thousand dollars, Rodney Fisher had an accident in the car. He was able to find a good used Cadillac which required another three thousand dollars. Since I was assured of being repaid, I was glad to assist my friend by loaning the additional money to his mechanic.
Rodney had worked on my car in the past, so I decided not to charge him interest.
Trusting soul, aren’t I?
Looking back, I realize now that I didn’t really know Rodney well enough to be loaning him money. Why did I do it? You know, even after everything that’s happened since then and all the thinking I’ve done about the situation, I can’t really answer that question. It’s almost as if I was destined to travel along the path I found myself on. That sounds a little bit metaphysical, doesn’t it? Well, whatever the reason, I loaned Rodney the money, and one thing followed another from that point on.
Rodney had repaid almost half of the loan when he decided to leave his job and start a repair shop of his own. Rodney paid me fifty dollars each week on time for the first four weeks. The only proof of the loan was an agreement he had signed, stating he borrowed the money and would repay it in weekly installments of fifty dollars or more.
After the first month, I had difficulty collecting the weekly installments; he always had an excuse. In a period of two months, I was able to collect just $100.00. Each week I would call or go over to his shop. You can guess what happened during those visits and calls.
Yes, I got the runaround from my “friend,” Rodney. He always had a believable excuse for why he just couldn’t give me the money he owed me right then. I probably should have just given him an ultimatum, but I didn’t. Truth is, I’ve never liked confrontation. Besides, I couldn’t think of something I could threaten him with.
About this time, I was given a “sure thing” in a football pool. Foolishly, I bet five thousand dollars and lost. That same week my wife suggested that we celebrate our upcoming anniversary by taking a two-week-long cruise which would cost five thousand dollars.
When I told her that we could not afford the cruise at this time, she started asking questions. I finally told her of my bet. Of course, she hit the ceiling. Finally calming down, she inquired as to what else I had done foolishly.
I told her, “I’m sorry for the bet. I have learned my lesson and will never bet again.
Everything else is just fine.” I had completely forgotten about the loan I was having difficulty collecting. That night I slept in the spare bedroom as my wife was furious.
In the morning, I was greeted at the breakfast table by Amy who had my office checkbook and journal in front of her. She had gone to the office early in the morning to go over my books. “And what are these loans to Rodney Fisher?” she inquired.
I explained what had happened, that he had started his own business and was having some difficulties in repaying but I was asking each week for payments. Of course, I left out the little detail that I suspected that Rodney was giving me the runaround.
“You wasted our vacation money and made a loan that you cannot collect. What kind of a businessman, what kind of a man are you? I am tired of you being Mr. Nice Guy.
I want you to see Rodney and collect all the money he owes the US. I want you to do it today, Do you understand?”
I could only say, “Yes dear, I will collect today. Perhaps, I can have him pay the entire balance and we can take a trip. Again, I apologize for wasting our money. Believe me, I have learned my lesson!”
“We will see if you have learned your lesson by this evening. Bring the money home to me!” she demanded.
Later in the morning, I called Rodney, telling him I needed to collect today. We made arrangements for me to meet him at his shop at 1:30. Upon arriving shortly before, I was told by one of his employees that he would be back. It was three o’clock when he showed up. Rodney apologized for being late; he did not have any money but he promised that on Friday, he would have $100.00 to pay towards the loan. Before leaving, I told him that it was very important that he have the money as I was having financial difficulties and needed to collect the balance of his loan as quickly as possible. Although he was the one who owed me money, I was the one who felt sheepish about the situation. Rodney, on the
other hand, seemed perfectly comfortable with blowing me off. Our relationship was completely backward.
That evening when I arrived home, Amy was waiting in the kitchen as I came in through the back door. “Did you collect the balance of the loan from Rodney today?”
“I went by his shop and talked with him. He did not have any money but he promised to pay me $100.00 this Friday. I asked him for the balance of the loan but he can’t do that at this time. He promised to make his weekly payments on time in the future,” I answered.
I saw the fire in Amy’s eyes as she exploded. “What kind of man are you? Are you afraid to claim what is rightfully yours? He is jerking you around. Can you not take charge and settle the problem? What happens if he doesn’t pay you? Are you just going to throw our money away?
“Now we don’t have the funds to enjoy a good vacation. All our hard work and you squandered the money away on a football bet, which I believe you paid off immediately, not like your friend Rodney who will not pay you the money you loaned him. He’s still enjoying his Cadillac, which you are paying for. What assurance do I have that you will be able to collect the rest of your money ever much less the $100.00 he promised you this Friday?”
I never liked being backed into a corner. “I guarantee Rodney will pay the $100.00 on Friday and will keep making weekly payments of $50 afterward. I am a good judge of character and I know that Rodney will keep his promises.” I’m sure I projected more confidence than I really felt.
“Talk is cheap,” replied Amy, “Since you are a bit better, how will you assure me that you will be paid each week from your friend? Let’s make a bet. I do not believe that he will pay you each week. Are you willing to back up your statement?”
“All right, I’m tired of your nagging. I will bet that he will pay each week until the loan is repaid in full. If Rodney pays, you are never to speak again about my loan to Rodney or the football loss. Do you agree?” I asked.
“You have a bet. However, I want you to agree to the following terms. Each week that you do not receive a minimum $50.00 payment, you must exchange one piece of your clothing for a corresponding article of women’s clothing. If you can not act like a man, than you shall wear clothing of the so-called weaker sex as penitence.
“Each week, you will exchange another article of clothing until you are completely dressed as a woman. The male clothing will be stored in a locker until you earn it back. Is that agreeable to you?
“If he does not pay the $100 this week, you will forfeit two items of your male wardrobe.”
“Fair enough. I doubt I will ever have to wear women’s clothing. However, say he misses one week and pays the next week?” I asked. “How would you compensate for his payments?”
“I suggest that if he makes two payments in a row, you can discard one article of clothing. If you receive only $50.00, you will be exempt. If the following week you do not receive a payment, you regain that article of clothing. After you have exchanged all your male clothing, your final penalty will be wearing a wig as well as dresses. If you are wearing panties and a bra under your male clothing, it will be from the time you arise in the morning until you change for bed,” she said.
Amy continued, “As part of the agreement, I will not harass you nor mention anything regarding the football bet or your irresponsible loan during this time. However, you must either produce a check from Rodney each Friday evening or tell me that you did not get paid. On Saturday morning, we will make adjustments to the bet. As an added incentive, if I should mention the loan or bet at any time during the week except Friday evening when you come home, you may remove an article of your penance clothing. Is that a fair arrangement, Charlie?”
“You have yourself a bet,” I replied. Again, I’m sure I seemed more sure of my position than I really was. What was I agreeing to?
“Fine, I will write out our agreement for both of us to sign. To be on the safe side, we should have the wager written,” Amy volunteered.
Within an hour, I signed the agreement. I was looking forward to Friday, knowing that I had put an end to Amy’s nagging. I was sorry that I had gambled and lost the $5000.00 we could have used for a cruise. I would make that up to Amy in the near future. In the meantime, I would not be hearing my wife nagging me. At least, that’s what I told myself.
Friday morning, I called Rodney and made arrangements to pick up a check. I was all smiles that evening as I handed Amy the check for $100.00. “Here is the money Rodney promised to pay. I believe I still am a good judge of character. Rodney is a man of his word. He told me he would have a payment next Friday and every Friday until the loan is paid.” If I seemed smug, well, I was feeling a little smug just then. Amy smiled saying softly, “We’ll see what happens next week. I’m glad you received your check this week.”
